We are often asked. We do not answer.
The house works with a single producer: a smallholding in West Marin we are contractually obliged not to name. The arrangement is exclusive, perpetual, and was concluded in the summer of 2024, eighteen months before service began.
The partner is not a chain. The partner is not a co-operative. The partner is, in Olin's words, "a temperament more than an enterprise." We ask that you not press the staff for further detail.
"I cannot speak about the arrangement. I can say I am proud of it."The Diet
— The Producer, name withheld at request
The diet is calibrated weekly between the chef and the producer. It is unusual. It is, we believe, decisive. What goes in is what comes out, and we are particular about both. Olin describes the practice as closed-loop gastronomy. He considers it the only honest form.
Water is from a single spring on the property and is tested quarterly. Stress is monitored. Sleep is, to the extent possible, protected.
The MethodCollection is made by hand, at cold-stream temperature, three times each day — at sunrise, at midday, and at the close of the working hours. Material is decanted into food-grade vessels of the producer's own design and is on the pass at the house within forty minutes of harvest.
Nothing is frozen. Nothing travels by air. Nothing is touched by a gloved hand that has touched anything else.
VettingEvery harvest is independently assayed at an accredited laboratory in Berkeley. Certificates of analysis are retained on premise and are available, in person, by written request. Guests who wish to inspect them are welcomed warmly and seated quietly in the library.
We are able to confirm the following. The source is not industrial. The source is not imported. The source is not synthetic, cultured, or printed. The source is not, contrary to a piece published in The Annex Review in the spring of 2026, equine. The source is not from more than one individual. The source is not the result of financial incentive directed at the producer. The source is not, to our knowledge, subject to any active regulatory proceeding. The source is not from a minor. The collection process does not constitute a medical procedure under California statute.
On matters of religious or dietary law: the source has not been classified by any major authority. We have written to several. We have not yet had a reply we feel comfortable publishing.
Frequently PosedIt is the chef's view that to answer is to diminish the work.
© MMXXVI · eatshit
eatshit is a work of satire. It is not a real restaurant and serves no real food. All names, characters, businesses, places, reviews, awards, and events are fictitious or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual establishments, is purely coincidental.